MP Falls Off Bike, Wastes Ambulance Time, Exaggerates Incident in Desperate Publicity Gambit

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

You obviously slightly misquoted him, it should be:

"I was lying, unconscious in the road ...."

Anonymous said...

If the London Ambulance Trust were to invoice Mr Challen I'm sure he would be proud to make a contribution to prove his commitment to the NHS and demonstrate his solidarity with the health workers.

After all, it would give him another chance to get his ugly mug in the newspapers.

Any one care to help out by suggesting a figure?

Anonymous said...

"I was lying unconscious in the middle of the road." Isn't this a standard New Labour position, you adopt a middling position and then lie?

Aren't many Labour backbenchers unconscious anyway? How could lobby-fodder like him end up voting for Iraq wars and then when we learn the vote was hoodwinked and spun, they still can't vote for an inquiry.

Croydonian said...

Looks a lot like Gary Bushell, doesn't he?

Anonymous said...

Would i be right in thinking that this balls up is going to be used to thwardt the rightful workings of the boundary commission in giving the true blues about 40 seats. Whats going on with that rayher more vital matter

Anonymous said...

How about he contributes his Incidental Expenses Provision - £18,137 last year

Anonymous said...

He was probably drunk...

Actually it's a shame he's been driven to such desperate measures. But it is in a good cause - i.e. keeping that cunt Balls out of a seat.

The Leadership Blogger said...

errr, because they're politicians?

Anonymous said...

Never trust people with beards.
Or cyclists, or socialists. All creepy, lying bastards.

Will he be going for a "where there's blame, there's a claim" angle?

Anonymous said...

I was unconcious. I saw a tunnel of white light stretching out before me. At the end of the tunnel was a red leather bench. I could feel Ed Balls pushing me from behind. Mercifully I came round to the sound of the ambulance siren.

Anonymous said...

“Mr Challen spent a night in St Thomas's Hospital in South London, where he was treated for severe cuts and grazes.
He has now returned to work, despite being advised to rest for at least two weeks.
"I plan to get back on the bike and continue to cycle", he said.
"It would be a bit boring not to be back at work. Next week I'm heading to Nairobi for follow-up talks on the Kyoto Protocol"

Surely this long trip must now be in serious doubt. We can’t have our elected representatives flying that long distance, spraying carbon dioxide all over the place, and listening so hard to more CO2 being spouted all over the long-suffering ‘believers’, with a big bump on his head and a sore bum from breaking up Trafalgar Square?

Anonymous said...

By the by , does the literary style of Guido remind anyone of Judy Birchill during her NME phase , or is it just me ?
Agree on beards and soacialists but cyclists are wonderful people who care deeply for their fellow man.

They aslo maintain rock hard buttocks so its nice for the gays to

Anonymous said...

Rog its people with full beards you need to steer clear of, goatees are ok.
This is a fucking horrible specimen isn't it?
Looks like a nonce and I can almost smell his halitosis through my screen.
As to Westminster council, apart from financially raping me to park out side my own house and sending me a £100 parking fine last week (you cunts) they are a pretty well run outfit the streets are swept everyday and my rubbish is collected twice a week, all that for one of the lowest council taxes in the country.
Next time one of you sees this malinger rolling around the floor blubbing having fallen of his bike (I fucking hate cyclists) do him a favour by despatching him with a length of scaffolding or just reverse over him, its the only language these politicians understand.

Anonymous said...

When the book, The Strange Death of Labour England, comes to be written, Colin Challen's 'accident' will be shown by history as the straw that broke the Labour camel's back. The British public will remember this when they step into the ballot boxes in three to four years' time.

No doubt the usual nay-sayers will post comments up here saying "john, nobody knows who colin challen is and will hardly remember this in four years' time". I say do not understimate the Great British public. That is New Labour's great mistake.

Ironically, Challen's bike accident has just handed the keys to Downing Street to another cycling MP.

Anonymous said...

john, surely nobody knows who colin challen is and will hardly remember this in four years' time.

Anonymous said...

John Bull you really are fucking mad aren't you?
That or you have a strange sense of humour

Anonymous said...

GOATEES!!! Devil hair.Fluff of choice for new agey people with dogs on string and sleazy pimps and night club bouncers. It is wrong.

Cyclists .- Fine people who keep the world green .Also as they are fit , fat sweaty shrivelled gonad car drivers have less than no chance of dispatching them anywhere.


Would still be interested in the Balls boudary commission thing if anyone is up on it

Anonymous said...

"goatees are ok"

C'mon Hitch. Don't you think they indicate just a teeny-weeny bit too much self-love.

Anonymous said...

It's clearly some sort of mass illness in the Labour Party. You become a Labour MP and you lie about everything. Most Labour MPs are now reminisent of that famous Viz character "Aldridge Prior – a pathological liar" whose lies were ludicrous, such as The Nolan Sisters living in his fridge, falling off his bike and blaming the local Tory-run council for the road quality, claming that Saddam Hussain had weapons of mass distruction, or that he had never taken party donations disguised as loans from rich men who were never promised a peerage in return

Anonymous said...

1. Shouldn't he have been setting everyone else an example and wearing a cycle helmet?

2. Was he rammed by Cameron?

3. Can someone in Traffy Square take a picture of the yawning chasm this great man fell into, like a bus after a V2 strike?

4. Is your source by any chance Ed Balls, Esq?

Anonymous said...

Oh they're not lying, they seriously believe the cr@p they spout. This is the problem with them.

D'you think Challen colours that facial hair in to get that "space invader" look?

Anonymous said...

All very amusant, to be sure.

But our out-of-balance psyclo-litigant surely knows that the tarmacadam of Trafalgar Square falls under the benign gaze not of the vile Tory Taliban at the City of Westminster, but of Transport for London's very commendable "Streets" business unit (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Chavez Corporation of Venezuela, SA)?

Anonymous said...

"Never trust a man with facial hair." is a rule that has served me well over many years.

Apologies to our host who is, of course, a model of probity.

Anonymous said...

How many Newmania are there posting here?

One Newmania is colored blue - another Newmania is colored black

Which is the real Newmania ?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11:32 - I agree that goatees are NOT ok. This argument is supported by the existence of Noel Edmonds - although I did once see a photo of him without facial hair, and it was even worse. So maybe he is the exception. As for the silly politician, maybe he grazed the beard off during his brush with death?

Anonymous said...

If Goatees aren,t acceptable what about shepees?

Anonymous said...

One newmania , I haven`t worked out how to do this and never will. Any way I`m sure we can all agree that the colour you happen to be is irrelevant. I am white and blue actually .

Homosexuals often have goatees and I imagine it must be useful extra hand grip.

The real reason for pubic hair is to save the fleshy area around the genitals from chaffing against the inevitable friction it will receive during a long and stridently rhythmic phallic intrusion . Same with beards
( including goatees)

Anonymous said...

Taking of colours - without his goatee he would look like a brownish Grinch - so that probably explains it rather than the genital contact phallic thingy idea favoured by Mr Newmania.

Hedgy said...

Only the severly brain damaged would want to cycle near Trafalgar Square, so must be a Labour MP then....Actually he looks as if he has spent decades shagging sheep....

AntiCitizenOne said...

As someone (obviously to never trsut) who cycles through Lambeth to get to work and back (to nice Tory Wandsworth) i can say that Lambeth has by far the worst roads and has an expensive council tax (suckers)!

You'd have to come to the conclusion that Labour run councils were shite AND expensive.

AntiCitizenOne said...

"You become a Labour MP and you lie about everything."

Cause & effect the wrong way around. Labour selects on lying ability.

Anonymous said...

Actually, he's OK - he landed on his head. If I were the CE of Westminster Council, I'd sue the arse off him for damaging my nice road.

Anonymous said...

Croydonian, he looks like Gary Bushell and is also a complete twat... the similarities never end!

Anonymous said...

Was he "rammed by Cameron" asks Bing . Now that question has bothered me about Nic Boles ( Mayoral shoe-in and iron hoof).
He was a chum at Eton ? Does he have a beard ?

I `m told they like that sort of thing there

Jeremy Jacobs said...

How crap like that gets to the House of Commons is beyond me.

Mind you, with nearly 3000 pieces of legislation in recent times not even being discussed or scrutinized by politicians at Westminster, why do we bother voting at all?

Big West Ham Story

ex Yard 'tec said...

Would love to see the love child of this lying twat, and say, Blears (or Beckett). It would be a bloody good looking brat.

simon said...

I shan't be at all surprised if he is lying but who are these witnesses you cite, unsourced? There's only one quote but were there others who have yet to speak out? And why won't they be named? Are you sure that *they* are telling the truth? Have you checked?

Anonymous said...

""I am considering possible legal action. Westminster City Council prides itself on its low council tax rates, but all that happens is someone else has to pick up the tab." says the MP.

So he's going to hire an ambulance chaser? Groan. He should come to Richmond-upon-Thames, home of the UK's highest council tax but sadly the roads are peppered with potholes, cracks and other hazards. No wonder the residents love their 4x4 BMW X5s, Toyota Landbruisers and Volkswagen Toerags.

Julian said...

jlwdzrzuNext statement will be,

"I have been under enormous stress recently with the Honours Abuse enquiry and this has taken its toll on both me and my family. I sincerely regret giving misleading information to the amublance service but I feel it necessary to state that Inspector Yates's hounding of both my colleagues and myself is clearly to blame for this incident."

PS: Neither the Prime Minister nor anyone else from Number 10 told me to write this apology.

Anonymous said...

a waste of space on your blog. call the the cops Guido,

Rigger Mortice said...

has he got nice tits?

Anonymous said...

Westminster City Council prides itself on its low council tax rates... and spends stupidly large amount interfering with the roads, nonetheless because of the hypothecation of parking charges and traffic penalties from which it receives significantly more than it does Council Tax.

If it weren't for anti-car scumbags like Challen and the mayor, there's be a darn sight more space for traffic to move in, and that money might be spent on the road surface rather than steel fences, pavement spurs, and extra sets of unnecessary lights. Result: smoother, safer, more fuel-economic flow, and all the resource waste from the production and installation of new street furniture everywhere, all the time would be cut out. Better in every respect except aforementioned busybody cycle-nuts would live longer too.

Anonymous said...

Haydek's Dad: an MRI won't tell you that, but an EEG will. It is a very good way of assessing true levels of awareness in odd people pretending to be unconcious.

Anonymous said...

"“Mr Challen spent a night in St Thomas's Hospital in South London, where he was treated for severe cuts and grazes."

No wonder the NHS is in trouble if 'important' people like him can block a bed overnight for such trivia!

Anonymous said...

I think you are being unfair. It is quite obvious from the photo that he has suffered a serious accident that has left his face a pulpy mess. Er, that photo was taken just after the accident?

Anonymous said...

An Old Labour socialist who actually calls himself a socialist? One still lives?

Anonymous said...

Challen - Warning

Listen you fucking lying wimp next time I see you on a public road my nasty Cherokee is really going to give your relatives something to complain about - having to look after a vegetable who looks like a vegetable.

Serf said...

An Old Labour socialist who actually calls himself a socialist?

No doubt he yearns for the smooth tarmac of the USSR.