Operation Ribble Update

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Could we not just detain him without trial? That would be most appropriate, somehow.

Anonymous said...

You might be right, Guido - but that's assuming Iain Blair's tactical firearms unit doesn't get there first? With all that suntan the PM has these days, he could easily pass for a South American.

Anonymous said...

I thought this refrain sounded familiar. Is it in fact related to "Astonishing new evidence uncovered in Diana mystery", an old media, Express trick to ensure that readership holds up, and, thus, advertising revenue holds up.

Anonymous said...

They might ask him a few questions, but can anyone seriously believe he is going to jail? Ain't ever going to happen ...

gunslinger said...

Prison's are all full - it'll just have to be the firing squad then.

Anonymous said...

Tony stands underneath umbrella outside No 10 with a mug of tea in his hand...

"Look, I'm a pretty straight type of guy. Our police do a wonderful job and I'm sure that between us we can organise a complete whitewash and misinterpretation of the facts. Just look at my record with the Hutton Inquiry.

Here, don't just listen to what I say, call my trusted friend Lord Levy. He will vouch for me.

Anyone for tennis?"

Anonymous said...

*cough*

I expected him to be interviewed last week, so I'm making no more guesses about the timing.

But what about the location ? The PM's office in the Commons or the Cabinet Office ? Blair's people will be desperate to avoid any pictures, knowing that they would be constantly re-used in clip shows and retrospectives on the Blair years. Strapline: First PM to be questioned under caution. But no pictures and it slips down history's memory hole.

Anonymous said...

Tony Blair is the most misunderstood leader this country has had. He leads whilst others dither. He makes decisions which some agree with and others do not. His party needs money and asks friends to raise the money. Some of those donors are given seats in the House of Lords. Has no other political party done this? There is so much insincerity and double standards about these days.

The only true answer is to make the House of Lords truly democratic by having them all elected by the people.

Funding of parties must carry on as the alternative, state funding, will give money to the BNP and, worse, The Green's!

Tony Blair is a patriot and a leader. I for one salute him for his courage and strength of character.

Tony, Can I have a seat now please?

Anonymous said...

Why should he get a Super to arrest him, why not a humble copper?.

Can I suggest the one who nicked his sprog from the gutter, as he'd be on his way to the set?. Happy Families indeed!.

Anonymous said...

Yes you can have your seat, but you still need to cross my palm with silver, and rather a lot of it.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see him grabbed by the fuzz.

Anonymous said...

With any luck he'll 'resist arrest', forcing them to use one of those tazers on him. Well, he might have hidden weapons of mass-destruction on him. You never know.

Or, perhaps just use the trusty old Smith and Wesson.

Curly said...

Can I drop him a £100 to help oil the wheels?

Anonymous said...

*cough, cough* Sorry, terrible cold.

Anonymous said...

'bout time too...

Anonymous said...

The only glimmer of hope here is that some minion will have fucked up and left an incriminating email somewhere and would sing to save their own skin.The problem with that scenario is that Blair would have them kelly'd.
Still, I live with the hope that he will have a heart attack or even better a debillitating stroke that will leave him as a drooling, wheelchair bound , incontinent husk of a human being who couldnt even get a wank off Cherie.

The pope is dying

The Pope lay dying in the Vatican . For years he had faithfully
served the Church

He motioned for one of his aides to come near.

"Yes father" said the aide.

"I would really like to see Tony Blair and George Bush before I
die", whispered the Pope.

"I'll see what I can do, father" replied the aide.

The aide sent out the request and waited for a response.

Soon the word arrived. Blair and Bush would be delighted to visit the
pope.

As they went to the hospital, Blair commented to Bush.

"I don't know why the Pope wants to see us, but it will certainly
help our images "

Bush couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the Pope took Blairs hand
in his right hand and Bushes hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the Popes face.

Finally Tony Blair spoke.

"Father, of all the people you could have chosen; why did you choose us
to be with you as you near the end?"

The Pope slowly replied.

"I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Blair. "Amen" said Bush .

The Pope continued.

"He died between two lying thieving cunts . I would like to do the same.

The Remittance Man said...

I'd much prefer to hear M'Lud intoning:

"Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence. You are an habitual politician, who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner. We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offences — you will go to prison for five years."

RM
[with apologies to the writers of Porridge]

Anonymous said...

"Could we not just detain him without trial?"

I look forward to Dr Random's selfless citizen's arrest suicide mission!

Anonymous said...

Wishful Thinking Guido.

Annoymous. You are Alistair Campbell. I claim the £5 reward.

When I was young the Express ran the Abdication Crisis when they were hard up for a story. Now they run Diana conspiracy theories.

Anonymous said...

Cash for Casualties

Give a bung to Mr Blair and you are appointed Lord Greasypole of Loanshire.

Now the Broons, Des and Gordy, will bung you your income tax back if you are ordered to commit suicide up the Khyber Pass.

My heart swells with pride. Who needs close air support or mechanised infantry when you know that your £15,000 salary will stretch just a little bit further?

Here's the Broons at war:

http://tinyurl.com/lmc62

Anonymous said...

. . . "you will go to prison for five years."

"er...can I phone a phoney crony friend??"

Anonymous said...

Wonder if Cherie will be his legal adviser.............or David Mills ?

Anonymous said...

Sentence first, verdict later.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps that nice Mr Reid will let him serve his sentence in Tuscany.

Anonymous said...

Take him down the station.Make him sweat (he's good at that as we all know).Feed him PLENTY of strong coffee.When he needs his heart resetting again,put a short right across it.

Anonymous said...

Give him a fair trial and hang 'im in the morning.

I'm sure their Lordships of the Admiralty would be happy to dust off and oil the working gallows they have (or used to have) at Devonport Naval Base.

Perhaps Camelot would like to offer the chance to be executioner for a day as the top prize for the National Lottery. I'm sure there would be no shortage of takers...

Anonymous said...

Dear Buddha, I want a pony and a plastic rocket and I so want Mr Blair to be guilty of a crime.

(With apologies to Joss Whedon)

Hedgy said...

son picked up by the police drunk, wife makes off without buying a Tube ticket as well as cleaning out all the gift shops in Australian, mate Tony flogging peerages and have you seen the in-laws.
The British people, indeed the 'hardworking' British people need a new Second Family...Her Maj being ic the First lot...

Anonymous said...

I'll believe it when I see it.

If I do see it, I probably still won't be able to believe it.

Anonymous said...

http://b3ta.com/board/6412190

Anonymous said...

I don't often defend Tony Blair, but all you foaming at the mouth Tories make me laugh.

Who won the last three general elections again?

Sorry, didn't quite catch that, would you care to repeat it?

Oh yes, that man who your leader is desperately trying to immitate, I remember now.

Hedgy said...

Fruning...I was going to say that but I couldn't spell indefatigability.(cut and paste is majik!)

Hedgy said...

Informer, the fact that he won the last three elections doesn make him any less likely to have his collar felt.....

Anonymous said...

Iformer said:
Who won the last three general elections again?

Can you remind us,Informer, what proportion of the electorate voted for him last time?

Sorry, didn't quite catch that, would you care to repeat it?

Anonymous said...

hedgy, his son wasn't drunk.

Anonymous said...

Oh, was it drugs then?

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't he just take a caution under the name of Charles Lynton? It worked in '87, I can't see why it wont work now.

Anonymous said...

If we were to suggest to Vladi the Putin that St Toni of B-Liar was to pen a critical news article, would he bail us out? strictly on a need to know basis of course, and no problems if GazProm wants to buy any energy company inthe UK or EU.
One can't rely on SO17 in these post Stockwell days.

Hedgy said...

I'm suprised that His Toniness hasn't taken the Putin's rouble yet and become an 'adviser' to Gazprom, like his mate the ex German Chancelor...the one that like sausages

Anonymous said...

Interviewed under caution implies he is a suspect though, not a witness.

Crown witnesses do not have to be interveiwed under caution. Taking a witness statement can be a cozy affair over a cuppa.

Anonymous said...

If you're the political frontman for siphoning public funds raised by taxation into privated business pockets you have to be invulnerable to take-downs by scandal -political and other - i.e. able to maintain your administration; Blair isn't and has been read the riot act, though not his rights yet . All the money, the 'introductory commission' is now going not to Brown but to Cameron; Brown is nearly as take-downable as Blair, and for many of the same reasons. Why all this stuff about Blair's "legacy'? He hasn't one any sane person of any political persuasion would like to live with ; it's a front to cover that the money has gone away. And with any luck he'll be going away too, at least for a bit.

Anonymous said...

Are John Prescott and Cherie Blair going to be questioned at the same time for walking through the Green Channel when they were carrying thousands of dollars' worth of gifts?

Anonymous said...

Tony Blair has apparently backed Jack Straw on the veil. I'm not sure that covering up Cherie when Gordon Brown waltzes through No 10 will work - he will still know who she is!

Anonymous said...

hedgy, you said the fact that he won the last three elections doesn make him any less likely to have his collar felt.

It's a breath of fresh air to have such a flawless expression of unblemished innocence round these parts. You poor thing.

Anonymous said...

Informer

What makes you think that one has to be a Tory to want to see Blair get his comeuppance?

Anonymous said...

Looks like Blair has had some facial surgery. And a very obvious wig.

Julian said...

Tony Blair has apparently backed Jack Straw on the veil. I'm not sure that covering up Cherie when Gordon Brown waltzes through No 10 will work - he will still know who she is!

There isn't a veil big enough to cover that up. Anyway you might be giving Blair an idea - dress up in full chador, like certain terrorists, and avoid being arrested.