“Oh Johnny, is that a matchstick in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Err I do need stronger glasses”.
July 21, 2006 at 4:56 AM
Anonymous
said...
Is it just my imagination or are all the sheets of paper and the transparencies blank? Could be a joke lurking there somewhere...
July 21, 2006 at 6:27 AM
Anonymous
said...
Hey Johnnie looking at these answers it's no wonder you failed the 11 plus, you didn't even spell your name right!
July 21, 2006 at 7:01 AM
Anonymous
said...
Miss Winterton fails to grasp that the invisible tablets Prescott has popped work effectively, and that there is no need to shield his bare arse in case someone is watching...
July 21, 2006 at 7:18 AM
Anonymous
said...
And here's another picture of it. As you can see, it's like a penis, only smaller.
July 21, 2006 at 7:47 AM
Anonymous
said...
"The Future's not looking too Rosie for Prescott"
July 21, 2006 at 7:51 AM
Anonymous
said...
...life seems so Rosie...ever since they changed the water supply...
I got your picture of me and you You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too" I sit here staring and there's nothing else to do Oh it's in color Your hair is brown Your eyes are hazel And soft as clouds I have to kiss you when there's no one else around
I got your picture, I got your picture I'd like a million of you over myself I want a doctor to take a picture So I can look at you from inside as well You've got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so...
It's a pity you had to get your appointments secretary to type it, as she has made a few mistakes. I think she's got the a and i round the wrong way in Tony's name.
July 21, 2006 at 10:20 AM
Anonymous
said...
hillhunt said... I put a tenner on a bet that there wouldn't be a single decent laugh from Guido's readers. Guess what? I won
You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell?
July 21, 2006 at 10:21 AM
Anonymous
said...
Better get up John. Someone's coming. Oh, it's you is it?
July 21, 2006 at 10:24 AM
Anonymous
said...
What? Tracey reckoned it was that big?
July 21, 2006 at 10:28 AM
Anonymous
said...
Health minister Rosie Winterton visits a psychological therapies centre in Doncaster quote from e-politix website today and appropriate
"You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell"
Campbell? Now you're having a laugh. There again, Ali does understand the difference between bile and wit.
July 21, 2006 at 11:00 AM
Anonymous
said...
...Rosie examines the contract for her memoirs and gets to the page where her fees and % cut are itemised for "John Prescott : My part with his Chipolata"
July 21, 2006 at 11:19 AM
Anonymous
said...
hillhunt said
You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell"
Campbell? Now you're having a laugh. There again, Ali does understand the difference between bile and wit. ________________________________
Yeah right, Campbell thinks that bile is what you do to spuds and wit is half of an owls call.
July 21, 2006 at 11:20 AM
Anonymous
said...
Look here John, mail order valve rubbers!
July 21, 2006 at 11:22 AM
Anonymous
said...
"Where did I get these teeth?"
"They're Gordon's spare set!"
July 21, 2006 at 11:36 AM
Anonymous
said...
hillhunt said... Anonymous said:
"You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell"
Campbell? Now you're having a laugh. There again, Ali does understand the difference between bile and wit.
Yeah, right, is that's why he's in such 'hot demand' on the failed politico's lecture circuit?
Ali Campbell's look and sound alike, 17th century spin doctor, Nollie Cromwell, was famously witless - yet even he had more laughs in him than Campbell. When old Noll shot himself in the bum as he fell off the golden wagon freebie he'd been given by a corrupt politico, he at least had the wit to have a laugh about it. He didn't turn it into a life time's bile and dead duck lecture tour.
July 21, 2006 at 11:45 AM
Anonymous
said...
Who she, and what is her (official) job?
Then those of us outside the Westminster Village might stand a chance of thinking up something appropriate.
Otherwise it's going to be along the lines of
"And the winner of a weekend away for two on Celebrity Love Island with John Prescott is..."
July 21, 2006 at 12:04 PM
Anonymous
said...
letter from Pauline here, she says will you be home tonight?
[tongue in cheek]She's wearing too much bling - more, that is, than is considered chic. My ahem stylist says that she should have stopped at the ear-rings and pendant OR bracelet, and left off the little finger ring[/tongue]
Oh, sorry, you were inviting captions. "Look, I've stopped wearing my tongue stud, it kept getting stuck in the stud."
July 21, 2006 at 12:43 PM
Anonymous
said...
Mashtots said... Should be called ordure-ordure.com given the state of the cpation suggestions.
"John is a Mashtots what we do?"
July 21, 2006 at 1:13 PM
Anonymous
said...
Mashtots said... Should be called ordure-ordure.com given the state of the cpation suggestions.
Obviously a NuLab disciple. Come on 'Brains' don't just sit on your middle finger produce something better! Not just la la la la la I can't hear you!
I got you now, poor quality quips because of 18 years of Tory misrule.
79 comments:
She obviously got dressed in a hurry. Her necklace is all wonky.
I can get two in there, you know, and about five of yours.
Giddy-up horsey.
"JP. Get from under there."
A bit higher please John
*giggle* This photo copier is cold on the bum *giggle*
I thought you said there were no photos of you dressed as a cowboy? Well, what's this one then on Guido's website...
fantastic:- so chipolata is on the menu for today
And this one's of John in his Village People costume ...
"With all the goods I have got on these bits of paper about John wannabe Wain and and his chums. I will be PM before christmas,ah ah."
'Excellent! My lawyer has sent over a copy of the writ to be served on Mr Fawkes!'
"John has left his wife?
How awful!"
www.mattdeansoton.blogspot.com
“Oh Johnny, is that a matchstick in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Err I do need stronger glasses”.
Is it just my imagination or are all the sheets of paper and the transparencies blank? Could be a joke lurking there somewhere...
Hey Johnnie looking at these answers it's no wonder you failed the 11 plus, you didn't even spell your name right!
Miss Winterton fails to grasp that the invisible tablets Prescott has popped work effectively, and that there is no need to shield his bare arse in case someone is watching...
And here's another picture of it. As you can see, it's like a penis, only smaller.
"The Future's not looking too Rosie for Prescott"
...life seems so Rosie...ever since they changed the water supply...
Yes, yes, yes, YES, YES! Oh my god! That was good, oh, please do it to me again!
(Well some people get like that over parliamentary white papers. Go figure.)
Regards
Bill
In my role as managing director of Anschutz Casinos Ltd, I'd like to congratulate John Prescott on his new role as head doorman.
"Oh that John! He's been sitting on the photo copier again."
If I sue for this much I can buy Dorneywood.
'I've WON because Im a Privvy Councillor and she's just a QUANGO QUEEN'
John! A paper you're not in.
Its not a caption competition, its a game of spot the Prescott...
Ha Ha Ha, now I know why Blair can't sack you!
Woman steals Nick Robinson's glasses. Nick still beaten to the scoop.
Oh goody they're going to make John a Lord.
They're going to call him the 'Count of Houmberside' - They've made a mistake, there shouldn't be an 'O' in front of the 'U'!
So that's why Global and General is incorporated in Nevis!
"John bought me this jade necklace today, and promised me a pearl one tomorrow."
Great news John, our joint membership for the Hurlingham Club has been approved !
I got your picture of me and you
You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"
I sit here staring and there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color
Your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel
And soft as clouds
I have to kiss you when there's no one else around
I got your picture, I got your picture
I'd like a million of you over myself
I want a doctor to take a picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
and turning in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so...
(c) The Vapours
I put a tenner on a bet that there wouldn't be a single decent laugh from Guido's readers. Guess what? I won.
'You are a thicko Prescott. '
'You left the lens cap on when you took these pics of them.'
Ah know ah've got a leezy eye and a grin like, Tooony.
But t'thing is, Johnnie, beneath this....whips off her mask...
I AM TONY!
What a sweet letter John?
It's a pity you had to get your appointments secretary to type it, as she has made a few mistakes. I think she's got the a and i round the wrong way in Tony's name.
hillhunt said...
I put a tenner on a bet that there wouldn't be a single decent laugh from Guido's readers. Guess what? I won
You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell?
Better get up John. Someone's coming. Oh, it's you is it?
What? Tracey reckoned it was that big?
Health minister Rosie Winterton visits a psychological therapies centre
in Doncaster
quote from e-politix website today and appropriate
"John - are you sure I need to declare myself in the register of your member's interests.....?"
Voice bubble from beneath table.
'Keep smilin', pretend nothin's 'appnin', tha knows I can't coom round ta see ya at'ome now - coz that blooody pussy's given t'game away.'
Rosie: Too right 'ee only gets a slap on t'wrist, ah'm the only one allowed to give 'im a spankin'.
Voice balloon from under desk: Ooooooh, what a good idea, can I give thee a spank too?
Rosie: Stop it, STOP IT. Tha's makin' me necklace spin.
What a nice "Get Well" card from Pauline
Anonymous said:
"You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell"
Campbell? Now you're having a laugh. There again, Ali does understand the difference between bile and wit.
...Rosie examines the contract for her memoirs and gets to the page where her fees and % cut are itemised for "John Prescott : My part with his Chipolata"
hillhunt said
You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell"
Campbell? Now you're having a laugh. There again, Ali does understand the difference between bile and wit.
________________________________
Yeah right, Campbell thinks that bile is what you do to spuds and wit is half of an owls call.
Look here John, mail order valve rubbers!
"Where did I get these teeth?"
"They're Gordon's spare set!"
hillhunt said...
Anonymous said:
"You wish. Anyway, you never were big on laughs, were you, Campbell"
Campbell? Now you're having a laugh. There again, Ali does understand the difference between bile and wit.
Yeah, right, is that's why he's in such 'hot demand' on the failed politico's lecture circuit?
Ali Campbell's look and sound alike, 17th century spin doctor, Nollie Cromwell, was famously witless - yet even he had more laughs in him than Campbell. When old Noll shot himself in the bum as he fell off the golden wagon freebie he'd been given by a corrupt politico, he at least had the wit to have a laugh about it. He didn't turn it into a life time's bile and dead duck lecture tour.
Who she, and what is her (official) job?
Then those of us outside the Westminster Village might stand a chance of thinking up something appropriate.
Otherwise it's going to be along the lines of
"And the winner of a weekend away for two on Celebrity Love Island with John Prescott is..."
letter from Pauline here, she says will you be home tonight?
"and this is my 'Mark Oaten' expression..."
[tongue in cheek]She's wearing too much bling - more, that is, than is considered chic. My ahem stylist says that she should have stopped at the ear-rings and pendant OR bracelet, and left off the little finger ring[/tongue]
Oh, sorry, you were inviting captions. "Look, I've stopped wearing my tongue stud, it kept getting stuck in the stud."
Mashtots said...
Should be called ordure-ordure.com given the state of the cpation suggestions.
"John is a Mashtots what we do?"
Mashtots said...
Should be called ordure-ordure.com given the state of the cpation suggestions.
Obviously a NuLab disciple. Come on 'Brains' don't just sit on your middle finger produce something better! Not just la la la la la I can't hear you!
I got you now, poor quality quips because of 18 years of Tory misrule.
Fortunately she sees the humour in Prescott's new way of perving. Most amusing is that Prescott is stuck under the desk.
John, you're kneeling on my toes!
I know you're an old salt John, but I've told you before - Not In There!
"Who exactly is this 'Emily' who keeps writing 'Dear John' letters asking you to resign?"
This one's from the Omnipotent Chief Imperial Wizard of Blair Lodge.
He says 'Keep your trap shut' and you'll be O.K.
(Apologies to genuine fellow members of the Brotherhood.)
I forgot to buy toothpicks, John.
John where are you?
"Minister consulted over penile enlargement on the NHS"
Perhaps she's looking at the before and after photos?
*shudders*
Watch where you put that chipolata.
"Indeed there IS a small chipolata under the table! Is my smile such a give away?"
"Skewered by a Steward? - as you can see from this picture my lips are rarely sealed."
""You know I'm sure I had my draft writ against Guido here among these papers. Shame, if I can't find it I can't sue!"
SWALLOW
francis walsingham, you need help my friend...mind you, if you're able to pull rank on the dpm, you've got a chance.
And the winner in the Post-NHS-optician-Service raffle of minister's (Nick Robinson's actually but don't tell!)spectacles is........
Francis Walshingham!
"Well Chldren it reads.....
'Three chipolatas sizzling in a pan. All of a sudden, Bang bang BANG!!' "
Now Rosie`s been to Specsavers she realises why others want £150,000 to admit to having sex with Prescott
I'm delighted that you will retrain to work as a dentist John but do you think you have the right type of oral skills?
john get up, i've got paulin's
hairdresser's bill here
Is this still working?
John, have you any idea why these pictures of Tracey are sticking together?
f"I keep forgetting John, you haven't been able to see your own cock for such a long time..."
"Hey John here's a photo of another tiny prick............Nick Robinson!"
I'll make it a ton.
"Cherry says she don't care what you've got on her old man she will not do you a 'freebie' divorce and don't come this old shit again!"
The Right Honourable Half A Sausage Sandwich.